Recently, I came across a Christian question forum where someone asked if she needed to confess her sins. Many people offered their advice, but one answer in particular caught my attention. One woman said that there is no need to confess one's sins to anyone else, as long as the person repents in his heart. As someone who tries to go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation with some frequency, this answer struck me; I kept coming back to this answer in my mind and reflecting on how incomplete the solution felt. Reconciliation is often a point of division between Protestants and Catholics, and it is a practice that often causes tension and anxiety for many Catholics as well. Many of us want to answer like the woman in the forum did; we want to be satisfied with a silent repentance in our hearts. While an inner conversion is good, and a necessary step in all our lives, I think we are falling short in our spiritual lives if we fail to receive sacramental absolution. When we fail to go to Confession, we miss out on a personal encounter of love with our Savior.
To unlock the beauty of Reconciliation, I think we first should think about why we avoid the confessional. Particularly in American spirituality, there is an emphasis on the personal over the community. We have a do it yourself attitude about everything, including our own salvation. We are reluctant to go to someone else for help, even if that someone is the Vicar of Christ, the mediator of Christ to us here on earth. Sometimes we feel ashamed of our sins, and we blush just thinking about admitting them out loud to another person. We want to think that our sins are private and personal, and that we don't need help getting forgiveness. It is this attitude in our culture that makes Confession that much more beautiful.
Confession is uncomfortable. No one likes to admit that he was wrong and messed up, let alone recite a list of all those things at once. However, it is this pride that prevents us from voicing our wrongdoings that God asks us to give up. When we search our hearts and find that we are truly contrite for our sins, then how could we not go to the Lord and verbally give Him our apology? I think we forget that Confession is not all about us. Confession is about us reconciling ourselves with the Lord. Our sins have already offended God; He does not owe us anything, we are the ones who owe Him everything. The least we can do is tell Him we are sorry verbally and in person. Is a true sign of contrition not only repentance in our hearts but also a self-sacrifice? Confession calls us out of our comfort zone and asks us to display our sorrow in a tangible way. This extra step that we are called to can separate halfhearted conversion from true repentance. If we are really sorry for what we have done, wouldn't we do anything to repair our relationship with God?
In the Sacrament of Reconciliation, the priest is in persona Christi, which means the priest is allowing Christ to act through him, so anything the priest says is like hearing the words coming from Christ's mouth. Reconciliation is not only an opportunity to tell the Lord we are sorry, but it is also an opportunity to hear that we are forgiven. This set up for reconciling is a lot like the makeups between kid siblings. Our parents will tell us to apologize to our siblings and friends when we wrong them as an exercise in learning right from wrong and learning how to live in relationship with people. It is not enough to say we are sorry in our heads and hearts; we have to voice our contrition while we look the person we have wronged in the face. Usually what follows is the other party having to voice forgiveness, and then a small act of penance might be enforced. The child might have to forgo dessert or clean the other child's room to make up for the wrong done. Reconciliation is similar. We go to God and look him in the face through the priest. We then hear God tell us that He pardons us, and we are asked to do some small act or say a few prayers to make up for our actions, thoughts, and words. The penance does not destroy the person's well-being because it is prescribed by someone else, so it also avoids the problem of self-punishment that so often spirals out of control. The penitent does not have to worry about the priest gossiping to others about his sins, because 1) there is a sort of phenomena that occurs where most priests will have a sort of amnesia in the confessional, i.e. most of the time they don't remember what we say and 2) in the sacrament of confession there is an official Seal; this means that the priest cannot speak of anything you say in the confessional upon pain of losing priestly faculties and incurring grave sin. The Church acts as our true Mother as she ensures that people can have a complete process of asking for forgiveness, receiving, and doing penance, in a secure environment that will not smear the person's reputation or cause the person pain beyond sorrowing for his sinfulness. Like a true parent, the Church uses the Sacrament of Reconciliation to teach us how to live better and make us better people. The encounter the Church facilitates is a beautiful practice of self-sacrifice and forgiveness that draws us out of ourselves and into communion with Christ.
We have examined Confession as our own act of self-sacrifice and quest for forgiveness, but I do not want to neglect the tremendous gift Reconciliation is from Jesus. Christ's willingness to forgive us as soon as we apologize, is one of the greatest acts of love ever given to us. It does not matter what we bring to the confessional, if we are truly contrite, then Christ will forgive us. God does not hold a grudge, for the Bible tells us that God is not numbering our sins. Instead, God invites us to encounter Him face to face to talk about how we have failed and offer us His complete forgiveness. Our sins causes Jesus to die on the cross for us, but instead of begrudging us His pain, He actually begs us to come and be reconciled with Him. Confession is just another example of the unworldly love God gives His children. It is a free gift with no strings attached that God has left with the Church. It is a gift, so we are free to do as we please with it, but it would delight the Giver most if we unwrap it and treasure it forever.
One time I went to Confession and the priest told me that I would feel ten pounds lighter when I left. He was right; the practice of Confession is such a complete process of conversion and repentance that you can feel the breath of new life in your soul once you leave. Confession is a humbling practice that recognizes the sinfulness that exists in oneself. While it is often uncomfortable and it is easy to feel ashamed as you voice your sins aloud, the spiritual fruit that comes of it is invigorating. From personal experience, I can say that going to Confession alleviates anxiety and inner turmoil in my soul, and brings me closer to Christ by hearing the love that comes from His forgiveness. Instead of viewing Reconciliation as something painful and embarrassing that I have to do, I try to remember that Confession is Christ's gift to me, and that it is an act of love that I get to do. I know that the only thing I deserve in life is condemnation for my sins, but instead of sending me to the place of eternal suffering, Christ offers me a place to come and renew my relationship with Him. Even in the face of my sins, Christ offers me an act of love, His forgiveness. Not only can I ask for forgiveness in my heart, but I can actually ask for forgiveness to His face. Tell me, how is that not a personal encounter with God?
To unlock the beauty of Reconciliation, I think we first should think about why we avoid the confessional. Particularly in American spirituality, there is an emphasis on the personal over the community. We have a do it yourself attitude about everything, including our own salvation. We are reluctant to go to someone else for help, even if that someone is the Vicar of Christ, the mediator of Christ to us here on earth. Sometimes we feel ashamed of our sins, and we blush just thinking about admitting them out loud to another person. We want to think that our sins are private and personal, and that we don't need help getting forgiveness. It is this attitude in our culture that makes Confession that much more beautiful.
Confession is uncomfortable. No one likes to admit that he was wrong and messed up, let alone recite a list of all those things at once. However, it is this pride that prevents us from voicing our wrongdoings that God asks us to give up. When we search our hearts and find that we are truly contrite for our sins, then how could we not go to the Lord and verbally give Him our apology? I think we forget that Confession is not all about us. Confession is about us reconciling ourselves with the Lord. Our sins have already offended God; He does not owe us anything, we are the ones who owe Him everything. The least we can do is tell Him we are sorry verbally and in person. Is a true sign of contrition not only repentance in our hearts but also a self-sacrifice? Confession calls us out of our comfort zone and asks us to display our sorrow in a tangible way. This extra step that we are called to can separate halfhearted conversion from true repentance. If we are really sorry for what we have done, wouldn't we do anything to repair our relationship with God?
In the Sacrament of Reconciliation, the priest is in persona Christi, which means the priest is allowing Christ to act through him, so anything the priest says is like hearing the words coming from Christ's mouth. Reconciliation is not only an opportunity to tell the Lord we are sorry, but it is also an opportunity to hear that we are forgiven. This set up for reconciling is a lot like the makeups between kid siblings. Our parents will tell us to apologize to our siblings and friends when we wrong them as an exercise in learning right from wrong and learning how to live in relationship with people. It is not enough to say we are sorry in our heads and hearts; we have to voice our contrition while we look the person we have wronged in the face. Usually what follows is the other party having to voice forgiveness, and then a small act of penance might be enforced. The child might have to forgo dessert or clean the other child's room to make up for the wrong done. Reconciliation is similar. We go to God and look him in the face through the priest. We then hear God tell us that He pardons us, and we are asked to do some small act or say a few prayers to make up for our actions, thoughts, and words. The penance does not destroy the person's well-being because it is prescribed by someone else, so it also avoids the problem of self-punishment that so often spirals out of control. The penitent does not have to worry about the priest gossiping to others about his sins, because 1) there is a sort of phenomena that occurs where most priests will have a sort of amnesia in the confessional, i.e. most of the time they don't remember what we say and 2) in the sacrament of confession there is an official Seal; this means that the priest cannot speak of anything you say in the confessional upon pain of losing priestly faculties and incurring grave sin. The Church acts as our true Mother as she ensures that people can have a complete process of asking for forgiveness, receiving, and doing penance, in a secure environment that will not smear the person's reputation or cause the person pain beyond sorrowing for his sinfulness. Like a true parent, the Church uses the Sacrament of Reconciliation to teach us how to live better and make us better people. The encounter the Church facilitates is a beautiful practice of self-sacrifice and forgiveness that draws us out of ourselves and into communion with Christ.
We have examined Confession as our own act of self-sacrifice and quest for forgiveness, but I do not want to neglect the tremendous gift Reconciliation is from Jesus. Christ's willingness to forgive us as soon as we apologize, is one of the greatest acts of love ever given to us. It does not matter what we bring to the confessional, if we are truly contrite, then Christ will forgive us. God does not hold a grudge, for the Bible tells us that God is not numbering our sins. Instead, God invites us to encounter Him face to face to talk about how we have failed and offer us His complete forgiveness. Our sins causes Jesus to die on the cross for us, but instead of begrudging us His pain, He actually begs us to come and be reconciled with Him. Confession is just another example of the unworldly love God gives His children. It is a free gift with no strings attached that God has left with the Church. It is a gift, so we are free to do as we please with it, but it would delight the Giver most if we unwrap it and treasure it forever.
One time I went to Confession and the priest told me that I would feel ten pounds lighter when I left. He was right; the practice of Confession is such a complete process of conversion and repentance that you can feel the breath of new life in your soul once you leave. Confession is a humbling practice that recognizes the sinfulness that exists in oneself. While it is often uncomfortable and it is easy to feel ashamed as you voice your sins aloud, the spiritual fruit that comes of it is invigorating. From personal experience, I can say that going to Confession alleviates anxiety and inner turmoil in my soul, and brings me closer to Christ by hearing the love that comes from His forgiveness. Instead of viewing Reconciliation as something painful and embarrassing that I have to do, I try to remember that Confession is Christ's gift to me, and that it is an act of love that I get to do. I know that the only thing I deserve in life is condemnation for my sins, but instead of sending me to the place of eternal suffering, Christ offers me a place to come and renew my relationship with Him. Even in the face of my sins, Christ offers me an act of love, His forgiveness. Not only can I ask for forgiveness in my heart, but I can actually ask for forgiveness to His face. Tell me, how is that not a personal encounter with God?
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