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Good Grief: My Journey with Loss

Last time on the blog, I shared a story about a great joy in my life. Although the joys of my life are more abundant than I deserve, I cannot pretend that my life is without suffering. Suffering is often a great place to tell a story, because suffering brings people together in a very particular way. So today, I am going to shift gears, in honor of November being the month of prayer for the dead, and talk about my journey with grief. My summer started and ended with loss. At the beginning of the summer my great grandmother passed away. At the end of the summer I lost my grandmother. Even though these two losses were only a few months apart, I handled the grieving process for each of them differently. For starters, my public grieving had to be different for both of them. GG was buried in a Protestant service done by the funeral home, while Grandma Bixby had a Catholic funeral in her lifelong parish. I think this outward difference made a huge internal difference for me in the way that...
Recent posts

Betrothal: What My Wedding Website Won't Tell You

I've realized that some of the most effective tools for speaking about Christ are stories. I mean who doesn't love a good story? They're personal, emotional, sometimes funny, and they always touch our hearts in ineffable ways. It is easy to see God working in the lives of others when they openly speak about their lives, so I've decided that this blog is going to focus a lot more on storytelling. My story telling. And with all the big changes happening in my life, I figured it might be about time that I share one of the favorite stories of my life, my vocation story. First, I'm going to actually start with something very recent. This summer, on July 7, Patrick and I got betrothed. Betrothal is an old rite in the Catholic Church that basically makes our engagement official and binding. Binding in the sense that if we want to get out of it, we have to get it absolved by the Church. So basically, we are in this for the long run, and if we decide otherwise, we are goin...

The Time I Wanted to Make the Plans

As many of you already know, yesterday turned from being one of the best days of our family's life to one of the worst. My cousin Raychel got the call yesterday that her double lung transplant was finally going to happen. Surgery was scheduled, family was ready, our prayer networks were set in motion. Then the surgeon noticed something was wrong with the donor lungs, and he made the tough call to not proceed. While we are all thankful that Raychel didn't receive broken lungs, it was crushing. So of course, we all kept praying. But for me, my prayers were a little bit different. This was the closest I have ever come to being outright angry with God. I told Him I didn't understand what the point of this was. We were okay waiting for the call. We didn't have lungs yet, but we were hopeful they were coming in God's time. Why did He have to get our hopes up only to crush them and then let us all wait in a new kind of agony? It felt like someone I loved had died, and I ...

Why Can't It Just Be Christmas Already?

Happy New Year! Liturgical new year, that is. Advent is upon us and it's time for wreaths and purple to adorn churches everywhere. Advent is a time of preparation and hope, and it's also a time of waiting. However, the waiting God calls us to in Advent is not the same waiting we often do in daily life. The waiting of Advent is not passive, but an active waiting that asks something of us. What is active waiting? Active waiting is intentional. It's purposeful. It's disciplined. It's a waiting that hopes for the end, but in the meantime it is an experience of growth and learning. Active waiting is not impatient. It is not the kid who wakes up every morning asking if it is Christmas yet and if it's time to open presents. But it is also not the mindless waiting of someone watching the commercials waiting for the game to come back on. Advent is a time of active waiting. We are to prepare ourselves for the coming of Christ, especially at the end of time. Advent isn...

Two Hypothetical Situations Walk Into a Bar ...

I just read an article that claims it can undermine the entire pro-life movement with a single hypothetical situation. I happen to disagree. To start, here's the apparently fatal question posted by someone on Twitter. It starts with you in a fertility clinic that's on fire. You hear a child crying behind a door. You open the door. There's a three year old boy standing in front of 1,000 viable embryos. You have to chose one. Not both. Choose one or you all die. The individual claims that you have to choose the three year old, and since the right answer is the three year old that proves that an embryo is not alive and it's not human. Aside from the fact that this hypothetical situation is so unlikely it's absurd, there's a very simple way to understand this situation and "save" the pro-life movement. This situation is just like saying that you can either save the person you love most in the world or 1,000 people you don't know. Instinctively, it ...

I Object

In light of the protests that are consuming Saint Louis, I thought I'd add my collected thoughts to the mix. I'm also going to try to do the impossible, and leave politics out of it. That's right, I'm not going to disclose what I think about the trial itself or what I think about the message the protestors are trying to get across. I'm just going to use my Catholic faith to view the events that have unfolded since the verdict. Although I will refrain from sharing my political views, I will say that this trial and the protests surrounding it appear to be more about politics than justice in the courtroom. Maybe that does sound political, but I've tried to look at this situation  as objectively as possible and this is the conclusion I've come too: it seems to matter more that Officer Stockley was white and that Mr. Smith was black than the fact that a human life was lost. It really hurts my heart that this seems to be the case. Instead of responding out of co...

Got Church?

In a complete reversal from the 20th century, more people today identify themselves as "spiritual but not religious." An increasing group of people, especially young people, are rejecting traditional religious institutions and opting for a more personalized approach to theism. Is this something we should be concerned about? Absolutely. If people separate themselves from the Church not only do they lose access to the sacraments, but they also lack the tools they need to improve their character. While setting off on your own customized spiritual journey may sound like a good idea at first, it's really like choosing a life raft instead of a cruise ship. First, I'd like to dispute the premise that "spiritual but not religious" implies. It sounds like people have two choices; you can either be spiritual or religious, but not both. We've attached a negative connotation to the term religious, which makes it undesirable for people who claim to be free thinkers...